Most mornings, since Kyle and I moved in together last August, I wake up long before he does. The first few months I was like a child, whining to play and pestering him to wake up with me. “Let’s do this, Let’s eat that, Let’s run around” and at first he’d oblige, (out of honeymoon phase-eager to please-ness I’m sure) and he’d moan his way out of bed and we’d run around and do all sorts of silly things, or, depending on the day, we’d lay in bed and talk through the morning, but he would most usually wake up and allow me to be entertained.
Nowadays, I wake up a few hours before Kyle each day, and I know better than to even try to wake him. We sleep on different schedules. We’re different people. We’re okay with that. I wake up, I creep to whichever part of the apartment he didn’t fall asleep in, and I entertain myself for a few hours. Sometimes I’ll read, sometime I’ll sit online and browse the interwebs, sometimes I’ll write. If a few hours pass and he isn’t awake yet, I’ll pack myself up and go grocery shopping or run errands. This used to bug me, but I got used to it.
Then there was this short phase, due to school and studying and his sleep schedule changing a little, where he’d wake up before me, and then I would wake up and start my routine of entertaining myself, and there he’d be, wanting the entertainment that I’d set aside for myself. I wasn’t sure what was happening, I didn’t know how to handle it, I tried to entertain him and enjoy the fact that we were both awake in the morning, and yet I found myself missing my quiet morning alone.
When did I become this person who needed her own time?
I used to strive for the days where I’d be with him every minute. I guess the honeymoon phase really is over!
Now, I tease, I tease. I write more dramatically than I feel. I expand on average thoughts and make them something worth reading. I strive to entertain, not to speak simply of my day to day.
In fact, one thing that I’ve been proud to say in our relationship is that we can spend weeks in a row together, pretty much on a constant minute-to-minute basis and not get sick of one another, but every human being needs time to their self. Every human being, boys and girls alike, need to feel alone once in awhile to appreciate the feeling of having a companion, not to mention the fact that people are weird, strange, and sometimes quirky individuals who need their own time to be their own person and do their own thing that they might not be comfortable doing in front of anyone else. (This is something I hear is true, not that I know of personally…wink). I’m just glad neither one of us are the type who need their own time quite often.
Kyle and I have perfected this particular aspect of our relationship. For the most part, I know when he needs his time away from me, and I can stand it and use that time to have my own time. He knows when he should back away and leave me be for a little while, and he uses his time wisely by himself. We understand one anothers needs and care for them.
I think this is an extremely important part of a relationship that most times gets looked over. Personal time. It has nothing to do with the amount of love someone has for another person. You can love someone to the moon and back and still need to be away from them. Remember this.
I’ve been awake for two hours. Kyle wont be awake for probably another two hours. I use my time wisely. I love him, I know him.
Work together and you’ll be fine.