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There are certain days when all I want to do is give everything I have away. I don’t mean my old clothes or junky furniture, I mean everything I can. My strength, my time and my money. The most random things will spark this desire. Today, it was using two single dollar bills for a pop in the vending machine, opposed to using exact change. In return I found myself with 65 cents and a strong desire to leave it there for the next person to come along and find a happy surprise. This is obviously a small example. There are days I actually consider emptying my savings account into some random charity that would just happen to be in the right place at the right time.

I, unfortunately, can’t follow any of these whims. The deciding factor at the end of these moments is that I owe my life savings, and all the rest of my savings, for a great deal time to come to Sallie Mae and other educational loans.  As my mother would say, phooey.  Sometimes I find other ways to give, with my time or my strength and energy. I give blood. I have been known to carry groceries for the elderly or very pregnant expectant mothers.  When I see someone random needing an extra hand, I tend to loan out mine. But, these times don’t come that often by chance, and I think it’s through the drought of random happenstances that I find myself wishing I could leave my money out for others.

As most others today I live paycheck to paycheck and as much as I wish I could put extra towards any of my debts – I usually can’t. Granted, I’m not poor by any means, I’m just… overly financed. Again, I feel that most others my age and older are in the same boat as I am, rowing, and rowing, and never reaching a destination.

I’m desperately looking forward to the day I can send off portions of my paychecks to things other than my bachelors degree. I can’t wait for the day that I spoil my family members without doing the calculations a dozen times and then worrying about it afterwards. I have just recently reached the time in my life when I can make it from paycheck to paycheck without running completely out, and some weeks I can even afford a new pair of shoes or spend a day out and about with my love or my friends and not have to worry about the money spent between gas, dinner and drinks.

But when that day comes, when I can officially stop checking, that will be a great day. I know it’s a ways off, and I know that many believe that day never comes, no matter how much you make you always need more… but that won’t be me. I’m plenty happy living below my means and not having the fanciest of things. I’m almost there. I really am.

And when that day comes, you’ll find an extra 65 cents in the vending machine after I walk away, and it’ll be your lucky day.