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Remember YESTERDAY when I posted that I finally felt like I was getting a bit more secure, financially, working the numbers and moving around my money and saving more and more each month? I’ve been tucking it away and limiting certain purchases and going out of my way to pay things off a little faster.

Then THIS MORNING I woke up, sleepy but happy, Kyle and I got ready and talked about life and our upcoming day and all was well. I styled my hair and applied my makeup, threw on an outfit and walked out the door. I stopped at the mailbox and what did I find?! A random and unexpected letter from Direct Loans (yep! I’m calling you out!) Informing me that the end of my first year of repayment has arrived and due to the increase in my salary they will be increasing my monthly payment accordingly.

Oh, well, fantastic.

I just can’t catch a break! Everyone tells me “you’ll never have enough” and “anything you save anything will go right out the door to something else”. Well, I’m determined not to live that way. I’m determined to live UNDER my means, not just within them. I honestly don’t want fancy things or a large house or a brand new car. I keep preaching this and it’s like the world doesn’t hear me. I just want to stay afloat and have enough in savings to rescue me in case of emergency. I want to live comfortably but not extravagantly. But every time I reach that point life finds another way of making life a little more expensive and it’s just plain frustrating. Yes, I’m still afloat, yes I’m doing fine, but when, please tell me when, can I actually put money AWAY and let it build? When does that day come?

I can’t keep boring you with my financial stress. I can’t. I’m done.