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“The Paris Wife” SPOILERS are ahead. If you want to read or are reading, I highly advise you STOP READING NOW. You’ve been warned. (It’s weird to call them spoilers, considering it’s based on their real life, and if you know anything about Hemingway already, then you probably know anyway…)

I’m reading “The Paris Wife”, which is the story of Hadley Richardson during the time she was married to Ernest Hemingway. Ernest Hemingway had four wives in his lifetime and then committed suicide. I’ve only know about his first marriage, and the short wiki details of the others, but I can see now how and why his life took that course.

Ernest Hemingway had a small issue with intimacy. He stated that afterwards, he’d feel dead inside, lost, or confused. This caused him to sometimes stay away from his wife at night, but then other times with her it wouldn’t seem to bother him. However, he never had a problem sleeping with other women, one specifically was Hadley’s closest friend (which eventually led to the end of his marriage with Hadley, and she became his second wife).

Anyway, at one point the book states {paraphrasing}: “Why couldn’t she be my girl? You could grow very quiet in marriage. A new girl got you talking, and telling her everything made it fresh again. She called you out of your head and stopped the feeling that the best part of you was being shaved away, inch by inch.  You owed her for that. No matter what else happened, however terrible, you wouldn’t forget it.”

It goes on further, but he’s basically just saying that he grew bored in his marriage and a new girl could bring excitement back into his life, and even into his marriage. That he’d love his wife more, if he could be with other girls, exciting girls, and then come home to his common, comfortable “feels like home” wife.

Obviously, like I said earlier, this plan never worked for him, going through four wives and then committing suicide. Even his wives died of, well, lets call them “stress-related” deaths because of the hell he created for them.

The whole basis of marriage is being able to work through problems, including boredom. Obviously, if you’re with the same person for a very long time, things can become routine.  To solve this problem, all you genuinely have to do is keep focus on your significant other. You grow bored because you stop caring. But if both individuals put an effort into caring what the other one is doing, what the other one has to say, and you remember to spend real time together and keep the romance alive, it’s much less likely for the boredom to take over. Being comfortable with your loved one is one thing, but when you stop paying attention, something needs to change. Notice the details, relationships can’t fix themselves. Ernest Hemingway wouldn’t accept this fact, and I think a lot of people really don’t. Relationships are not easy. They require work. The work part, sucks – but it’s worth it when you find yourself in a happy life. ❤ ❤