I’m still very much on this “I want to do everything I can possibly do in the entire world and I want to do it all right now” kick.
But obviously, money is the thing stopping me. Money is the ONLY thing stopping me. Where is all the money???
Keep breathing Sara. Your cabin fever will be satisfied in two short weeks, DC! DC! DC! I have money saved up and set aside, a gorgeous hotel waiting for me, a super awesome girl to have long conversations with, laugh over stupid jokes with and make memories with (….and eat 12 tacos with, individually…in one 8 hour sitting). (yes, I know that is 2040 calories. I know that’s 840 more calories than I eat in an entire day… keep in mind I’ll be walking all over DC for four days AND barely eating the rest of the time we’re there). 😉 (Am I serious? Do you really want to know?)
I want to accomplish too many things.
- I want to go to the store right now and buy beer for Kyle and I to drink all night while we talk about the millions of things we can someday do. But, I can’t even afford the beer right now.
- I want my stupid student loan payments to be applied to principle after the monthly payment has been satisfied, but I can’t do that either. “I’m sorry ma’am, our system is set up that when you pay extra, it automatically gets paid to the next months payment, you’re still tacking away at your balance, but we can’t set it up the way you want”.
- I want to start running again; and by again, I don’t mean that I used to run, I mean that I used to want to. Now I want to, again. Whether I will or not, I don’t know. I never got into the habit before, maybe this time will be different. I said I’d wait until the low temperature averaged out in the 40’s but everyday this week the low has been in the 30’s and this feels plenty warm enough to start. Maybe tomorrow? 6am? We’ll see.
- I wanted to eat a bunch of candy today, and now I’m regretting that decision while my brain swims around in sugar and any motivation or focus that I started with this morning is long, long gone.
- I want to see my friends who live too far away to see on a regular basis.
- I want to live in a city.
- I want my Boston Terrier and I really, really want her now. (6 more months).
- I want a wine cabinet. (Cabinet? is that what I want? I want multiple bottles of wine, within reach, whenever I want. Horrock’s being across the street is close, but I’d much rather just walk to the kitchen with my slippers).
- I want to photograph everything. everything.
I don’t know whats coming over me lately. Whether its my age or just general emotion or whatever, who knows. It doesn’t even make sense. I LOVE my life. I LOVE my job, my friends, my boyfriend. I love where I am and how well I’m doing and how far I’ve come. I’ve never been the type to waaaaant.
At least I’m not craving shoes and clothes or other vanity type things. I guess.
I want to better myself. I want to be more efficient. I want to be stronger. Healthier. Smarter. More independent. I want to make amazing memories. I want to have stories to tell. I want Kyle and I to be that couple that is always doing something amazing.
We’ll get there. I’ll get there. We’re so close. We’re on the edge. The brink. It’s RIGHT THERE. We just have to reach a little further and everything will be ours. In time.