When you’re young, your family consists of the people you are told are your family. You obviously have your parents, grand parents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters (including step-family members and half-family members). The closest people to you, the ones you share a home with, are just family, they just are. Then at events you meet distant cousins and random aunts or whomever, and your parents say “They’re family.” And you immediately accept them as family, because that is what you were told to do.
Then you grow up.
You’re parents will always be your parents. You’re brothers and sisters, for the most part, stay categorized as “family” in your mind. Some of your more distant family members could fall away and are forgotten. I think that depends mostly on who you are and what your family situation is like.
But when does a non-family member become family? How can you determine that?
I’ve been with my boyfriend long enough that I consider him my family. When did that happen? I have no idea. There just became a point where I knew he’d fallen into a new category in my mind. The same category Andrea Jean fell into many years ago.
This is one of those moments when I think ‘Is this too much? Where is the line between appropriate and scary when I’m blogging about my releationship? Is Kyle going to read this and think “ahhhh too much” or will he read this and smile and say I’m sweet? I guess we’ll find out….haha.
Anyway, I spent a lot of time thinking about my life, my friends and my family and where they all come into play in my mind. Thoughts about family tend to more towards “I don’t always understand them or the things they do but I love them very much anyway” this definitely is the case for Andrea Jean and I. She and I are very, very different people. But no matter what we’re doing, we both know we can be 100% honest about what we’ve done, the things we said or thought, or how we feel, and at the end of the day we will still love one another. We’ve been through a lot, we’ve said and done a lot of things to one another, but those things never mattered in the end, because we’re family.
I’ve grown to feel the same way about Kyle, except Kyle and I don’t have the same interactions as I do with Andrea Jean. With Kyle it’s more like “No matter what happens, what we’re doing or where we are, he’s always going to be Kyle and I’m always going to be Sara and I love him for that”. Especially during the rough times in life, you can see best how unconditional love can become. No matter how busy he is with school or work or friends, no matter how many days go without having a real conversation, no matter how much we dislike the random things that we don’t love about each other, he’s Kyle,I’m Sara and I love him and he loves me. Family.
It takes a lot to become family. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, interaction and a series of mutual mindsets. You can’t truly love someone unless they truly love you in return. It’s never one sided. I’m very lucky to have a sister in Andrea and a companion in Kyle. And my biological family as well ❤