And he honestly was a surprise.
For those of you who know me, you heard all the things I said. “I’m moving to Denver and I’m not dating. I’m going to be single for 12 full months before I even look at another guy. I’m not interested. I’m not interested. I’m not interested. I’m going to be single and independent and live my life for me and no one else.”
Well, that definitely didn’t last a full year. That barely lasted an entire month. But in my defense. I tried. As soon as I met him there was a connection and as soon as I knew it I told him, flat out, I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t interested. It was not going to happen. Don’t bother trying.
I told him every time I saw him.
I told him when we’d go to dinners.
I told him when we met for a late night walks through the park.
I told him when he helped through my first Denver crisis. And my second.
He was very nice, but I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t put myself in another situation with a boyfriend. I didn’t want it.
He understood. To be honest, he never even tried. We ended up falling into the same group of friends. We ended up spending a lot of time together, we became close as friends. But he knew I didn’t want to date and he didn’t try to convince me otherwise.
But as the days pass, and you become close with someone, and you feel the feeling of ‘more’. What do you do? You become even closer. You spend more time with them. Considering I was doing my best to maintain a friendship only level with him, I am surprised how quickly and naturally we just fell together. Looking back, I’m not sure exactly when I knew something had changed. Something inside of me clicked and I knew I cared about him enough that I didn’t want to lose him. It wasn’t loneliness creeping in and making decisions for me. It wasn’t convenience of having him near. It wasn’t based on poor decisions. It was all very good. It was just him. It was just us, and our actions together, and the feelings that grew and developed. This is what is was.
We eventually admitted defeat. And by we, I guess I mean me. We had a long talk and I decided that even though I had my goals for independence, I also wanted to be happy. Arriving in Denver and living here has made me the happiest I’ve ever been and deciding if I wanted to be just friends, or something more than friends with this brand new person in my life was an easy decision when it came down to it. He makes me happy, comfortable, and he supports me in a way I’ve never known. Everything I want to do, he’s right there telling me to go do it. And at this point in my life, I’m doing A LOT. We click in a way that is completely natural. Normal. We just “get it” and I still have the independence I need. Being with him doesn’t take any of that away.
So yea. That’s that. That’s Scott. I’m happy. Take it or leave it. I decided to take it.