At least once a day I think to myself something along the lines of “oh hey, I haven’t freaked out yet”.
I knew there was a really good chance that I’d get here and eventually I’d panic. I’d get lonely, sad, homesick, whatever, and I’d just straight up panic. I figured at some point I’d cry, wishing things were easier or better or wishing I hadn’t put Denver so high on the pedestal that it couldn’t fulfill my dreams.
It’s been almost four months and I have yet to feel any of those things.
I sat on the roof of my building last week with my dog and my boyfriend, nearly in tears about how happy I am. How unexpectedly and shockingly happy I am. I said it wasn’t Denver, or the fact that I found a job I’m truly happy with, or Jasper, or Scott, or this apartment that feels more like home than any other place I’ve ever lived; but it truly is everything combined together. The point I’ve reached now with my life here, I know I wouldn’t be this happy without all the pieces of my Denver puzzle put together the way that they are. If I suddenly didn’t have Jasper anymore, I’d be ruined. If I suddenly lost this job, I know I wouldn’t find something more suited for me. If I hadn’t allowed myself to trust Scott and the relationship we’ve developed, I wouldn’t feel as whole as I do now.
I’ve always said that timing is everything. I’ve found someone who agrees. I’ve found a life that was timed just right for me to fall into. Up until I left Michigan I worked hard to get here, but since the day I arrived my life has been so easy, wonderfully easy. Everything I’ve ever worked for I feel like I’m finally getting. I’m checking things off my bucket list left and right. I’m experiencing life. I’m making friends and trying new things. I’m living. And I have someone who is doing and feeling the same, by my side.
I feel like all the pieces have clicked together and what I have right now I wont let go of. Find happiness and hold on to it, I’ve been preaching it for years… and now I’m taking my own advice. The funny thing is, holding on is unnecessary because it’s here, it’s mine, and it’s not going anywhere. The pieces fit. The puzzle wont fall apart. Nothing is being forced. Life is just good, and I won’t be taking it for granted.