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This is genuinely hard for me to type.

I feel really bad, even though it’s my own decision, and I know those who matter understand, but it still sucks. Really, it sucks.

I know I’m going to get fifty private messages asking me for details. Let me save you the trouble, the details are understandable, and they aren’t going to change, and I promise it’s OKAY!

I’m not coming home for the Holidays.

I have never missed Christmas eve, or the Allen Family Christmas gathering in my life. Never. Ever. Ever.

Through boyfriends and traveling and moving and drama and car troubles and anything that could possibly get mixed in (and was) I have never missed a family gathering.

Now, I live in Denver. So a few of you may have expected this. I was just home in September, and over a long discussion with my family, two weeks ago, we have decided it makes more sense for me to just stay here this time around. The Allen Family gathering is on a date I can’t be home for anyway, and the Christmas Eve celebration with my immediate family is just unrealistic this year. I could come home, but I’d be sacrificing a lot of what I’ve been trying to build here.

But to be honest, the worst part of all of this, is that my best friend is having her baby soon, and I wont be here to see him at Christmas. For this I am terribly sorry.

I can promise however, that I will be home after Christmas. I’m working out the dates with my parents (who may or may not be coming to Denver around the same time) so once we have figured out a schedule that makes sense for everyone, I’ll be back.

But until then, I’m sorry. I’ll miss everyone in December. But this time I have to make a sacrifice and this it what it turns out to be. It was a lose-lose situation. I had to pick one. This truly does make the most sense.

See you next year.