Here’s the difference between the writing then and the writing that may potentially come.
All the preaching about how easy it is to be carefree and happy, and still carry on a normal type of life- I understand now that most people aren’t capable of just dropping all the bad pieces and creating a new image with the happy pieces leftover. It isn’t impossible, but it definitely isn’t as simple as I always made it out sound. I, well, I had help. I had memory loss and enough brain damage to honestly walk away from everything without recognizing what I was really doing. Everyone else, well, everyone else definitely doesn’t have that pushing them towards a new road.
In the 12 years since the accident I’ve spent a lot of time being disappointed in people who let themselves be unhappy (this will never change) but in 12 years I’ve also aged by 12 years. I see how the decisions I often encourage effect not only the person at hand, but the ripples that lead out into their lives. These ripples are not a reason to not drop the bad stuff from your life, but they may [sometimes] be good reasons to maybe move a little slower.
But keep trying, okay? Don’t give up on your own life because of the way it may impact someone else’s. At least try to put yourself ahead of others once in awhile. Especially when it comes to the very simple aspect of general happiness. If it makes you happy, hold it near, if it doesn’t then just leave it alone. It’s not yours.
I’m always going to preach that you make your own happiness. But I’m better at understanding now there are other circumstances at hand, and I’ll support you, any of you, any of my friends, my people, in where ever their path my lead.
I can acknowledge now that some of my posts over the course of the last ten years have been insensitive towards those going through things I couldn’t see or couldn’t understand at that time. I know I had a couple of posts that offended those who were immediate in my life, and I never meant for that to be the case.
If you can just take a moment each day and look around and think to yourself “ok, is everything good? Yep, I’m good.” That’s all I ask. Be aware, and don’t be stagnant.