I wake up certain mornings and I always think to myself “I’m exploding” (in a good way). I don’t know what it is about mornings, but once I get throught the ‘blllgghhhh it’s morning’ and am actually awake, on random days I’m overwhelmed with my life with Kyle. I am trying to think of how to describe what this feels like… but I can’t. It’s stictly internal. It’s like butteflies and excitement, but for essentially no reason. Nothing sets it off except sunshine and East Lansing. This morning it kicked in just after I left the Speedway, iced coffee in hand, about half way to work, I was just full of glee.
Kyle thinks I’m crazy. I tell him sometimes “today was one of those days I was exploding with love for you, I was just SO happy that I have you and that we’ve come this far and that we’re still happy and giggly as if we’ve only known each other two weeks. I look back over the last two and a half years and have no regrets, or doubts or frowns.” and he often responds with something playfull cheesy “oh darling I feel that way everyday!” or something typical from a mans mouth “you’re ridiculous, settle down”.
And, yes, I DO feel that way everyday, but sometimes I’m uncontrollably giddy with it. Today was one of those mornings. As I was driving to work, I started thinking about these days when I feel so ridiculously good and was thinking “it’s probably a good thing I don’t outwardly show these emotions, otherwise I’d have one of those clown smiles painted on all day. Totally creepy.. which led me to my next thought. Does that mean my explosions are actually implosions? The excitement and giddiness and butterflies are all internal… and to some extent I do feel like all the happiness kind of caves in on me, in a good way… rather than shooting outward around me…
Okay, maybe I am just insane. But eithe way, I’m happy and love and can’t get enough of my own life. That’s gotta be a good thing.